What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize