i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize