Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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