I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize