I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Couch. On fire.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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