dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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