What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
