just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize