I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
