if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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