Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize