At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
and you fell through a lawn chair
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
