he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
How many fucks given?
0.12846
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
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