She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
