I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
