Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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