"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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