there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
