you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Life is so much better after having sex.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
