I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
