Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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