Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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