Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Hippo gnu deer
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
