ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
