Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
being pregnant is like rehab
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
