she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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