I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize