You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
what day is it and did you see me today?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I am available for nakedness
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize