Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
