I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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