i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
