Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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