She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
