Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
