Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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