Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
