Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
