well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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