alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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