just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
