went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
