I wish i was in the wii world.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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