i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
