drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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