Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
