I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize