Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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