Joe is yelling at the trees again.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
