He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I think I just shit out all my problems.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
