You just made me feel so damn special
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Randomize
