you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
