I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
