Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
