I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize